September 9, 2008

• bit of an up and down today.

  yesterday went amazingly well.  i was interviewed by five people, they all went great.  today i got a call asking for my references – which means i passed the interviews.  at this point, after my references check out, they’ll make me an offer and i get to go in for a drug test.  then i’m in!  hooray!  i’m so excited i can’t stand it.

  today i was planning on revising my resume, just for kicks and to keep things on file with the SJSU career center.  i didn’t.  along with a few other things that happened today that i really don’t want to get into, around noon my cat came into my room holding a mouse.  i got him to drop it then locked him in my aunt’s bedroom to keep him from guarding it.  i grabbed a plastic bag and picked it up.  as i was going downstairs, i heard it shuffle around in the bag.  so i closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and whacked it against our pegboard three times as hard as i could.  it jerked once, made soft squeaking sound, and then went still.  i checked it again about a minute later.  it was officially gone.  it hit me kind of hard, because it’s been a while since i killed an innocent creature.  i felt bad most of the day, because i didn’t think of a more humane way to end the creature’s suffering until much later.  but i am kind of taking comfort in the fact that i did end its suffering and that now it feels nothing.

  i also take comfort in the fact that i felt anything at all.  as someone who hangs out in the bowels of the internet, i’ve been worried the whole experience has jaded me.  feeling bad about what i did means it hasn’t, and that’s probably the best thing i can take out of this whole experience.

  but enough of that depressing topic.  i need to watch some Slayers.

  • 10:23 pm
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