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that's two more down!
i didn't do so hot on these two. math and physics. they were quite tough, and my professors decided to throw some curveballs at me.
but you know what? i'm not worried. it might not have been perfect but it was far from a disaster.
and i'm not focusing on the bigger picture.
i am now officially done with math and physics classes for the rest of my natural life.
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hey look five days. i'll skip the HOLY ZEN this time around.
one final down, three to go. and with two tomorrow i'm nearly finished. friday's final was the toughest, and i think i did fairly well. so from here it's just effort until the end of the semester.
my cs100w grade finally got changed, so i'm now back on track.
it is can be study tiem now
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well, after doing a little listening to music, shooting down youkai by the hundreds and sleeping i feel better. i shouldn't get so worked up over something that hasn't happened yet. this may yet work itself out. so when the time comes i will start to stress out. but that time is not now.
i discovered that i play Touhou rather well when i'm feeling that way. after months of no play, i managed to get past Keine without losing a life on normal. once i got to Marisa and from there onto Eientei i started getting slaughtered but i made it to Final A on one continue. never done that before. i still suck but i have decided to dedicate a good portion of summer towards getting at least Hard mode completed. i don't have any high hopes for a 1cc in my near future, except on Easy, but if i can get Hard Mode at least finished i'll be happy.
i've also decided to bring much more Touhou to fanime. to that end i'm going to make more touhou t-shirts. i already have the Final Spark T-Shirt which i will be wearing again, along with Kenshiro which i will have to remake (he got washed with something red and now he looks like a marshmallow), but that still leaves two. i thought about doing something from one of the many doujinshi i have on my computer, but that would be too easy. so then i thought about IOSYS and it was easy. i'm definitely going with this one for a shirt because Marisa Stole the Precious Thing is awesome. i definitely wanted to use something from 患部で止まってすぐ溶ける ～ 狂気の優曇華院 as well, but for the longest time i couldn't decide what to use. i finally decided on this because Eirin is awesome and i always crack up at that frame, except it's too bad that i won't get to include Reisen. Reisen has been slowly making her way up the ranks to challenge Yuyuko as my favorite character, though she'll have to get past Yukari, Eirin and Sakuya first. i also thought about doing something from 惑いて来たれ、遊惰な神隠し ～ Border of Death or FOE!FOE!FOE!FOE! but the former is too dark and the latter isn't very Touhou-y.
anyway it is late and i am tired.
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ugh.
i'm feeling like shit and it's not going away. i was hoping it was at least directly related to the fact that i've been sneezing nonstop for three days straight or maybe that the semester is winding down and i'm under a lot of pressure.
turns out, according to my fancy human reasoning, it's neither of those things. it's a combo of two completely unrelated factors.
the first is SJSU. some of my faithful readers (i know there's at least one of you, my blog gets about 100 hits a week and only 80 of them are from me) might remember around december i posted a snippet of my grades showing an incomplete for CS 100W. i wasn't very concerned at the time, as incompletes only lapse after a year. so if debra couldn't take care of it now, i had a whole other semester to pester her. after meeting with my advisor i learn, to my utter horror, CS 160 requires CS 100W. and CS 161 requires CS 160. 160 is only offered in the fall. so, at best, if i don't take 160 i'm stuck at the university for another year. and that also means i'll have to take a load of filler classes to make units for financial aid. well, guess what everyone. i still have an incomplete and i can count the number of days until the campus closes on one hand. i do have an out: the 100W prereq can be overridden with instructor consent. the catch is the university isn't releasing the schedule of courses until Monday. which leaves me all of a day to find the instructor and get permission, assuming the instructor can even do such a thing and if the instructor is even listed. i can always add, but adding is never guaranteed. so basically if my grade doesn't change between tomorrow and my registration deadline i'm fucked. i don't know what i'll do, considering the timeline i've been working on for the last four years will suddenly crash to a halt.
so my mental barriers are rather weak from thinking about that.
the second factor is Fate/Stay Night.
as you saw below i finished the Fate route tonight. it was a sad story, and normally i would have thought about it for an hour or two and moved on. but because of my stress level and weakened mental barriers i let it get to me. Shirou's story had a lot of loss in it. not that Shiki didn't have his fair share, but Shirou, like the whiny bitch he is, brooded on it for most of the story. it started to get to me after a while and i started to think about depressing things, like how i'm 22 years old and can't remember what my mom looks like.
so combine the anger, frustration and stress of the absolute neglection from the university with the pain and depression brought upon by what i consider to be an excellent story and you get what i'm feeling now. i just want to crawl into bed and sleep for seven years. it almost makes me wish i never would have tried to make something for myself, it seems like any time i try to branch out something invariably tries to keep me down.
and unfortunately this didn't help. hopefully sleep will.
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haha forgot to mention i sacrificed another shirou. expect that number to at least double in the next few weeks, as i will either forget which choices i have made so far in the Japanese version lead to BAD/DEAD END or i'll intentionally go back to them just to see how fuggin creepy they are in English.
i had no idea Ilya was so twisted.
edit: wahaha got killed again. fuckin caster.
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OH GOD YES except not because it's been retracted at the moment. some spoiler in day four about the true identity of a servant. honestly, though, most of the english-speaking crowd who are even remotely interested in fate would know already, since the anime made it abundantly clear. either that or they've read up in servants after thinking the game would never be translated. either way, i guess they don't want to assume we know everything and are covering their tracks. good for them, but i'm glad i snagged a copy of the patch before the retraction.
my initial thoughts, after getting through the prologue?
Archer is infinitely more awesome than i could ever have thought. so is Rin.
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